SAS (June 9,1983 / Jersey City, NJ)

Making Myself Ugly

Staring around the room
Watching people happy and filled with cheer
Wondering why I’m not feeling the same
Just want to go home already and drink a beer.
Wishing I was free
Free from stress, hurt & this life
Creating a downfall…
He wants me to be his wife.
Pushing the time further and further back
Not willing to give in
It’s been almost six years
And I doubt he’ll ever win.
Forcing myself to smile
Holding back my tears
I’m okay for a little while
But than again I’ve been drinking beers
Don’t want to fall into a hole
Where no one can ever love me
Closing my heart off to the world
Making myself ugly

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