Memories Of A Girl
I'm having trouble sleeping
My heart continues weeping.
So many thoughts race around my mind
My body aches, my bones they grind.
Images carved into the back of my head
Of the horrific past I once led.
The memories are a dagger to the heart
Relationships have fallen apart.
So many voices whisper in my ear
Some of the things said, paralysed me with fear.
Every voice tells a slightly different tale
But I cling onto the hope that truth with prevail.
I was so vulnerable
Thought that their behaviour was always acceptable.
I didn't know to use my voice
That I was able to make the choice.
I was caught like prey
They thought it was right to take my innocence away.
But now I can look back with an adults mind
There are more disturbing things I find.
I didn't know where to go
So I just went along wth the flow.
I wasn't strong enough to make it stop
They would always be the ones to come out on top.
If only I had told my Dad
Then maybe things would never have got so bad.
But I was too scared
As they told me he never cared.
There was no where to hide
And no-one in which I could confide.
Supposing they didn't believe
To make matters worse is all I would have achieved.
I helped to cover
My mum, I really loved her.
She meant everything to me
The truth I didn't want to see.
All I wanted was a mother
For her to love me as much as I loved her.
Why couldn't I be a normal child?
Allowed to play games and run around wild.
It was all kept under wraps
As I was made to endure the mental and physical slaps.
They can no longer touch
But I am still hurting so much.
Somehwo they have still got a hold
Thinking of them makes my blood run cold.
That little girl exists no more
But they will not destroy this woman as well, that; s for sure.