Messed Up Situation

If I say I'm through with you
Then why am I conversing the truth
All these frivolous things you say
Subsequent to what happened yesterday
I'll pretend I'll surely move on
But we both know no one's that strong
I have ammunition to make a new decision
But it's my fault I don't stray I stay
Even though I'm no longer yours
I stay
Because it's easier this way
And even though I know
You play these games
Maybe I'm not so certain I don't wanna play
I think it's just a messed up situation

It's just a messed up situation
We both have to engage in
None of us had to do this to ourselves
But the challenge is something else

I'm still compulsively checking your responses
And I'm still waiting for the pain to numb
But the closure does nothing for me
Because on the inside I was very aware
Of the things that polluted your brain
The things that drove you insane
And I wasn't one of those things
I was just another burden
Something to keep you hurting
And not even in a way I would've wished for
You bastard

It's just a messed up situation
We both have to engage in
None of us had to do this to ourselves
But the challenge is something else

I'm a vulnerable creation
I'm my own messed up abomination
You think I'm some kind of angel
But all you see is this halo
You don't know shit about the inside
You can pretend with all you're insight

And after a messed up situation
You're left with all these scars
But one day you'll see the resemblance
That they have with the stars
Settled in the night sky
I wish I was your bodies moon
But I understand that'll never be
So I'll walk away with your sympathy
When all I wanted was your undying love
But that lover was never me
Not like how I wanted it to be...

by Michelle Asswit

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