by Mark Heathcote
He/she has learning disabilities
"Please" direct your questions to me.
Those people are, really tiny & cute!
Look they're like Santa's little helpers.
"Does that one come in any bigger sizes? "
Sorry, No! Madam, we only stock size 12 petite.
"God knows we tried & tried & tried"
Teenagers eh, who'd have them?
I've bent over backwards for those people
"Do I get any, kind of god damn thanks? "
No, none whatsoever? Bloody foreigners!
He isn't fit for work he's too old.
He's only fit for the knacker's yard, truth-be-told.
This old chair smells like grandmothers'
"Do you remember, mouldy & damp" that reminds me
I need to visit our mother at the nursing home.
Did you see "them" poor beggars covered in flies?
'It beggars belief' they could make ends meet.
They were so piss poor, on their knees
Their own, government said such poverty is a virulent disease.
Did you hear the joke about the two forgetful Irishmen?
One named Mick, Feck sake I've forgotten the other:
Fr O' Grady, Father was it Paddy or Murphy?
"I Cannae believe it", you dimwit my name is "Alastair."
And that beneath my chin is just my white goatee.