Sweet-seeming sunlight filtering in
Over me and echoing of some things
I would rather not have myself see.
My walks with you in retrospective,
Ignorant of this slow-growing ulcer
This aching malignant cancer
That I never recognised in those
Moments when I looked in your eyes.
I suppose I was always backtracking,
Pretending you didn’t matter. Yes
You taught me denial and other
Real walls which I run up against daily,
Realising my fists will fail me I only
Limp and laugh and drink and sit
Here in the light reliving some night.