Misery

Poem By Mandi Meyer

Why does time stand still
Late at night when the world is quiet
And I can’t help but think of you
The endless agony of reliving our past
The pain that cuts through me like a knife
The pleasure that I’ll never have again
The hateful words that destroyed me a little more each time
The frustration of trying to get you to listen
The screaming; I hate when you scream at me
Dealing with your constant anger
Afraid each time that you would lose it and hit me
Roller blading together; you’re the only guy who ever did that with me
Taking long drives with no destination
Missing every pleasant thing we ever did together
Crying myself to sleep at night
Crying in the middle of the day
I hate crying, it shows weakness. And yet I can’t help it.
Wishing for all I’m worth that I could just get over you
Or sometimes wishing I could die instead.
The pain of losing you is too much to bear
But I can’t go back to all the pain you inflicted
Couldn’t I just be numb? Life would be so much easier…
But I’m still sitting here reliving our past
And the pain is acute and never-ending
Unable to bear it any more I seek the solace of sleep.
And each time I do I find myself hoping I won’t wake up…

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