SM (10th November 1991 / Chandannagar)

~monster Under My Bed~

There's a monster under my bed
It paints my world bloody red

It takes medicines to keep me from killing myself or
others...

Angry, barren, confused, disjoined
thoughts

Incoherent

Nightmares with
screams of a woman who lied

A heart filled with black, black tar

That runs like tears from my eyes and paints it black

A frail liver damaged with alcohol

A soldier in a war...

A civilian turned into soldier in a war


I don't know who I am fighting

I don't know why


Or even,

For whom? ?

All I know is that fight I must

Or those images of

Broken skulls in a sea of blood
under the half moon tinted blue
will return,

And she will be there too

Neena!

In her dress with an Olé Luckoiè umbrealla

The third one...

And
I
a
man
lost
in
a
sea
of
blood

Will find no respite...

***

There's that monster under my bed

It's a spirit ethereal

No form,
no shape

But big enough to cloud my world...

Hungry enough to eat me alive....

Will it take me for breakfast? ?

Maybe lunch,

Or an evening snack...


I know I won't last until dinner...

I would be one of those skulls
in Golgotha

I know it will chop me from head to toe
like a brave warrior who turned traitor...

*

What is this? ?

This monster in red? ?
does it have claws? ?
or just teeth? ?

Or maybe it has tentacles
each one capable of sucking up life from me...

Extinguised soul,
extended pain,

A heavy heart,
and a broken soul...

This be the life..

No meanings anymore..
no logic
no shape
no symmetry...

Only a fire that burns
yet makes everything go dark....

Souren Mondal
April 15,2016

by Souren Mondal

Comments (5)

Souren me lad, The site is a little emptier with out your participation I will write to you personally and tell you of an upcoming Oogie episode of which just you and I shall know. We can share the secret. Stay warm my friend.
In childhood we all are scared of a monster under our bed. Here you have used it in a metaphoric sense for your state of depression. The dark images you have used convey depression very well. I find it a very artistic write. It's a theme many people can relate to. In the fast-paced modern world depression is a huge reality. Writing is a way of letting out the steam inside us. You have expressed yourself really well through this write. I hope you will beat depression n emerge stronger. I actually visited your page for inspiration n it's good to see you are writing again.
Hi Souren. It's been awhile since I've visited your page and I'm sorry to hear that you are not well. What Kelly said is correct, This is a disease and you have to fight that monster with everything you have. Keep writing. We support you. You are a wonderful poet and caring individual.
You will come back..... stronger and healthier! DON'T SUBMIT YOURSELF TO ABSOLUTE HELPLESSNESS! I feel for you as much as i feel for my son. My son is of your age. I HAVE ALWAYS A FEELING THAT YOU ARE IMMENSELY GIFTED. You shouldn't be shattered or broken. This world is not smooth for anyone. We might be misunderstood and misjudged by others and will be left in pain. But we shouldn't break like shards of glass. PLEASE KNOW THAT THERE ARE SOME IN THE WORLD WHO CARE FOR YOU. With a multiple fracture on my left arm, today I feel greater pain than any of the recent days. Still I write these lines as I care for you. Cheer up, Souren!
My dear friend, Souren. I could very well have written that verbatim. (Except for the name 'Neena') I think that you are stronger than you know, this poem is proof. Take as much time as you need but continue to write and even read. Mental disease is just that, a disease. Nothing of which to be ashamed or to shame. Peace and love my brother.