Most Detested Topic

So, your birthday is coming up
but I know I shouldn't even remember it
all you've done this year
is drag me through the mud, just to leave me
stranded, all you've done is lie to me,
use me, and throw me away
just like some dirty napkin you've decided
you don't need anymore

If this is what growing up means for you
then you should have just stayed young
time should've frozen right before your heart
began to rot away, before your soul lost its light

Honestly, I cant stand the fact that
I still think of you from time to time
I cant stand that there are more good memories
than bad, I can't stand that I've written so much for
and about you, I want to let go of it all

Most poets have the loveliest revisited topics
nature, love, life lessons, self study even
so, why does mine have to be you?

For your birthday
don't expect a gift
don't expect a call
I would probably text you
but I have a new number
I've decided, to keep you in the dark
about it, right where I'll cast away
my love for you

by Nika McGuin

Comments (3)

(My second atempt to send a message on this devastating poem. I hope I can piece together my thoughts before they were erased.) This is a TRAGIC poem, and that means the tone is highly serious and the theme is one of loss. The setting of a birthday which should bring you and this person closer with good wishes and joy is an ironic occasion. It marks a resolve on your part to sever ties further rather than endure more pain. Your description of this person's moral condition is devastating: a rotting heart and a soul's light extinguished, the sources of feelings and of truth both damaged. I can sense in every line your fervent hope for some kind of turn-around, perhaps even a reformation. Is it too late for this person to be rescued? Is this a lost cause? Your poem provokes these questions, but wisely does not answer them. In your Thanksgiving poem you referred to the miracle of everyone's survival. There may still be a miracle in this situation. B-U-T your poem is a vivid description of a moral impasse. It has the integrity of truth-telling. There are no false hopes presented. It takes moral courage to look with such a steady gaze at what you detest - one loved person's moral decline.
You are pinned to the memory of someone though it is disgusting! You want to liberate yourself from its clutches..... but I feel there is some helplessness still in you that makes you brood over those memories again and again! That's why you keep writing over it while other poets have umpteen topics before them...! Your indignation has some how given birth to an outstanding poem!
Hell yea! ! I could feel that seething anger in this one. I will have to admit I did get a chuckle out of one part though and I hate to admit it cause I know this is such a serious piece of work BUT when I read the line use me, and throw me away just like some dirty napkin you've decided you don't need anymore the first thing that came to mind was I have a stack of dirty napkins I keep tacked to my wall with all the times and dates of where I used it and what I ate. No, I am not serious about that It just tickled me to think of something so absurd. Ok anyways. yea I can definetely catch the feels from this one. There is nothing like caring or loving even someone that you can't stand anymore. Especially when they don't deserve the time or energy it takes to have them in your thoughts lingering with you when all you want to do is reach into your heart and mind and rip all those memories out and toss them out onto a trash pile in the middle of nowhere. Sorry someones got you twisted in knots but pain always produces good poetry. *Hugs* Ed