My Brain Games

Poem By Gencay

Stranger to each other but mixed
I can't tell if it's a dream or a nightmare
Like things with razor cuts
I've seen tons of things for how many days.

Both a dream, a nightmare and a dream
Killed me and gave birth
I went to myself, only to myself
It is strange, I woke up, I slept, it is strange.

I looked up, lowered, lifted
I believed it, I couldn't believe it, I slept, I didn't sleep
It was something that I don't mind
It's like I've been through a thousand years of suffering.

I saw, heard, felt
Everything was lost in a moment, I was surprised
I got mad, got smarter, didn't know what to do
The universe sat on my back, it ached all over me.

I'm not sure it's real
But the scars remain on me
What have I experienced, what was this
I'm afraid to go to bed now.

It was strange, it was blurry, everything was strange
It was like a journey between dimensions
I seemed to both go and stay
Death was pulling, but could not tear me.

It wasn't pain that I suffered
Pain counts as an ointment
This was something else
My brain's games made my physics a toy.

My heart was almost breaking
My eyes were throbbing
I was burning freezing
My brain's games made my soul a toy.

But I was never a fan of playing
My brain out of control
He played me, mocked me, it was a weird thing
My brain's games played with me.

After a few days I got control again
But he gave it, I couldn't get it myself
As if giving it to me he said;
Get! I'm done with you!

It was right, it was over, I was over
Going crazy wasn't tasty
In the past three days
I understood neither more nor less!

I heard the voices of birds
I'm paying attention to whether it's real
I came to myself
Before I could be sure I was coming.

It was unbelievable
But it's not unbelievable
I have to forget these
I have to forget the tricks of my brain.

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