My Depressive Cycle

Defeated in this shell of circumstantial rage
Keeps happening, like a curse of a malevolent mage
To me on the floor in a ball, so others can kick me
Delighting in my pain, my whimpering soul, never free

Where in this forsaken world is there a love for me
Can’t it just happen for me, to be taken in arms of purity
When every human necessity for me is so subjected
To the taunts and reminders that I am forever humiliated

Pounding headache when no pill can take off, even the edge
Too much to live for, yet death I crave like the drought for the rain
A starving child, I feel its pain, because I am the same as them
I am supposed to be someone when it all comes down before them

I have to scratch an itch but, I hope no one notices this
Within me I hunger, for some human comfort, never in bliss
Arms I know want me, I cannot reach, and its not distance
Devil within and my heart so polluted, distress and so much persistence

Within a new confidence that the world awaits the killing of me
No change in my day no matter how hard I try, no one can see
Beauty I can’t see, when the taunts of another makes me ugly
Humming a song I know speaks of my truth, a tuneless plea

Tears of my mind so scorned by ones I thought I could trust
They cradle a child but no one can see my soul is damaged and bust
Leaving me here, I’d rather be in the cage to complete the picture
It’s all falling way again as it’s, done, so many times before, no future

This time there is no end for the exception of my own death
I wish for the pale voice from afar than can see my final breath
Someone to take this loathing away, for my wings to carry me alone
An angel I can become before my dirty face is cleansed to the bone

Taking flight, is my fantasy to rise, above all that never knew
People who never saw the inner deliverance, that I needed you
To hold my haemorrhaging heart and tell me that I have a worth
Instead of this perpetual machine, closing eyes, I wish for a new birth

by Vision Ghost

Comments (1)

i love this :) i really feel your pain, and this is fantastically written