VG (24/01/1979 / Epsom, East Surrey)

My Final Suicide

Shifting to a discord, a value reviewed in this physical entrapment
A boundary, of ones own self dysfunction, that mirrors the divulgement
Unreleased and pounding, from the pressure of this simple, uncoloured thing
Place the weapon, to my temple and pressure the trigger, resistance is fleeting

Caught in the melancholy agony, of not knowing what’s best, for this life
Lost in the wonder of what might be, in case I did this, ending this strife
Would they find me naked and my soul deserted, across the kitchen walls
In amongst the pattern of my mind, now scattered as my face, that falls

Drowning my expression, in the blood that now flows, releasing the pain
Travelling along the floor and creeping on, like my soul, to the strain
Forever more they can’t scorn me, no longer can my ears, hear their words
A mist arises, in once was the clarity, of my perspective, now a visual curd

People dance, into my imagination, that remains, the only life in my head
So long to a world, of an inhabitants’ that couldn’t careless, for me dead
Reaching up now, because something is freeing me, lighter in decree
Drifting now, so silently, away from the physical faceless prison, of me

A hand is pulling me, is that my arm or an unconscious realism, near death
Fulfilling the once void and now I can seek, in silence, without chilling breath
All I hear now is someone’s tears, the crying, of the mortal deliberators, heart
Paralysed by the dying biology, of my bodies weakening and pulling apart

Pictures that circulate like a bleak rostrum, taking moments, to be recognised
Rising higher, feeling less, the darkness begins to fall, upon the unsynchronised
Lungs relax and my chest reduces, hearing an infernal, final, dying breath escaping
Now this division, from ones mind and soul, departs for the final moment of travelling

Black is my conscious now, no seeing, as too the noisy world, is getting quieter
Still, is my mind and a fold of dark replaces, the images that teased, now falter
Drifting upon the water, that my body now becomes, from this pathway to nothing
Silent now, dark now, gone is my reality, nothing here to do, only my departing

by Vision Ghost

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