My Golden Ass
It was a winter wilde
by Linda Hepner
And the sneaky reader childe
Down from the bookcase pulled a book
Because the title yelled: MUST LOOK!
She lay in bed and read all night
But Pater dixit: That's not right!
This story's not for you, so stop!
She would not listen to her Pop
And finding peace within the loo
She read it all. This tale is true.
The moral of this story is
That parents should just mind their biz
Unless of course they do intend
To use their childe's willful bend,
Their secret goal: to educate
By craft, and find a clever mate.
And that is how The Golden Ass
Was my first adult book, alas,
Way long before Jane, Charles or Enid,
Bovary or Virgil's Aeneid,
Though Graham Greene's book Brighton Rock
Was snatched from me, replaced in stock,
In Croydon Library; of course
I grabbed it, galloped like a horse
Back to my refuge in the loo.
I sat and read it. This is true.
The habit started very young;
You hear it, Parents, from my tongue.
So if your child is bored and blue,
Forbid a book. But not the loo.