CV (Aug.1,1988 / )

My Home

I can’t say I’m not glad to leave
I have been waiting for this moment for so long
The only thing that has kept me subservient to
My anger,
Myself,
Was hope
The hope that one day you would love me
The hope that you would change my mind
Why did you slaughter that hope?
Why did you just stand there pushing me way
Almost as if
You wanted me to fall
I leaped off the cliff of fate, taking your advice
Into that black chasm that I have loved and hated for so long
I did wish for many things before I left
A wish from the bottom of my heart
I wished that you said
“Good job”
“I love you”
I wished that I was your friend
But these wishes did not come true
I was refused
Cruelly pushed aside
Never the less I stayed to see if it was me
That made you see me as some vile thing
Was I unkind to you?
Did I harm you in some way?
Was I genuinely that intolerable,
You couldn’t even lie to me?

On a cold and rainy night I saw my hideous reflection
I turned around feeling the burden of my ugliness
As I walked in my sorrow and misery
Branches scraping at my arms and face
I realized that I wasn’t hideous at all
You had only taped the word “hideous” to my eyes
So that was all that I could see
But that could rainy night
That fallacious face fell off
Underneath I saw a beautiful young woman
Full of vibrant life
A love and passion for everyone and everything
It was not me that you turned away on such cold nights
It was the shadow of yourself that you sent to haunt me
But now I am free
For I was never meant for this place you call home
I was a graces gift that was given to you out of pity
I was love and kindness
But you turned me away
You refused the help
So I am now being taken back to my homeland
Were I will find the missing piece to my heart
Love

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Robert Frost

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

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