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! My Muse
VD ( / India)

! My Muse

It is your company in solitude I treasure,
Those are the imaginative moments of pleasure;
I long to be within your majestic universe ever,
To seek the creative bliss beyond measure;

Everyday I find time in the midst of my schedule,
Waiting for you whole day, one or the other will ridicule;
You appear slowly with an exclusive veil of silence,
Disappearing with the pin dropp impatience;

I feel you during the meditational presence,
For many it may not make any fruitful sense;
You are my friend in inspirational moments,
You are there during my moments of creative impulse;

During solitary moments I evince divine gratitude;
You are my ingenious teacher and a guide,
With you I see the nature as a beautiful bride,
Time spent with you were like a high flying ride;

You travel with me to the distant abyss,
To find in the deep dark hollow crevice,
In the deep hollow abyss my heart beats do miss,
Only to wake up with an enlightened bliss;
Oh! My friend loneliness;

User Rating: 3,0 / 5 ( 63 votes ) 21

Other poems of DURGEKAR (81)

Comments (21)

A very nice work. If you can chisel the lines further, it would be even nicer. About the last line regarding the loneliness. Solitude and loneliness are different. There is creativity in solitude whereas it is absent in loneliness. Loneliness carries an element of disappointment and frustration deep within whereas it is absent in solitude. You may reframe the last line accordingly. Thanks.
I agree with Paul, if you touch up the rhyming this can be a great poem...making solitude an unusal friend...
Since you ask me to comment, and I cannot send you a private message - On a technical level, the irregular rhyming (AAAA BBCC CCCx xDDD EEEEE) is a little unsettling. Verses 1 and 5 have only one rhyme each, and 2 lines don't rhyme with anything. If you could make all verses have one rhyme it would be better. I assume 'sense' in v.3 is meant to rhyme with 'silence / presence / impatience / moments', but it is really only a half-rhyme. 'Evince' is a rather unusual word, and I'm not sure you have used it correctly - could you use a different word? As for the meaning, it is a very unusual idea you have, to look on loneliness as a friend - the first line is very striking, and the last line, especially as it is shorter, sums up your idea. So as a poem, this is pretty good, just let down a little by the technique.
wow.......very nice.....well done
Thanks for your comment Vidyadhar..also for the reflection of the same thought..we are all like the fetus in God's womb destined to be inseparable from Him..inwhich case 'solitude' can be attributed to only the divine persona in blissful lonliness...without a second thougt for any other second or third God or so..and look at the term solitude..conveys only godly meaning...'sol'-tonal similarity to sole and soul..also the fifth note of a musical scale..'I'..the godly I..'tude'...attitude.. doesn't it sound like God saying'I'm the sole one and everything is my wish and attitude....hope you don't get bored.Thank you
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