My Older Brother
I once looked up to him when I was a little boy,
I wanted to be just like him, so he I did annoy,
I emulated his every move and even the way he walked,
I even began to spit and curse, I even mimicked the way he talked.
I wanted to be just like him, so he I would always try to impress,
I even wore his hand me downs, whenever I got dressed,
Wherever he went I followed, or I wanted to go,
But, then he would always laugh at me, telling others me he didn't know.
He never protected or defended me the way I thought he would,
He never wanted me at his side as my parents said he should,
I thought that he would protect and defend me; he never did,
I thought that he was there to help and advise me; he hid.
He was my older brother I admired him the most of all,
If he ever wanted or needed anything of mine, all he had to do was call,
I had a younger and older sister and a caring loving father and mother,
But, he was superior to them all, as he was my older brother.
Then he started drinking and smoking and also using drugs,
Then he began to lie and steal so he became one of the thugs,
When I grew older my adoration for my brother I did drown,
No longer do I look up upon him, I now look down.
Randy L. McClave