And there it was that stupid little thing.
Training to be an obstetrician in this place
world's greatest took me under his left wing
but let me loose too early, 'just in case'.
A bush of hair is something pretty plain
in actuality I think all should be shaved
it would not matter one iota to her brain
today is sample taking day, samples are saved
for us to test them for rogue cells and other signs
of inflammation or discharge of foreign matter
back in the lab where, set among the pines
next to the shop that calls itself The Crazy Hatter.
We part the lips as they are called, to have a peek
put in the speculum and turn it very gently
the great professor stands behind me, what a freak
he looks like Dracula and drives a British Bentley.
It is plain modesty that tells me now to stop
but let me tell you that the purpose is for science
and to detect aberrant buggers and a crop
of those immortal ones that wallow in defiance.
It was a man with a humonguous Grecian name
it has been shortened to the more accepted Pap
he persevered with a hypothesis so tame
that even students saw the open, empty gap.
Today the test which is a rather simple smear
saves countless lives in many lands without much cost
it does prevent much needless suffering and the fear
that female cancer will make certain you are lost.
And so it is with some great heros of all time
they were soft spoken often nerdy, with bow ties
but they always thought inaction was a crime
if a single woman doesn't know and dies.