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Ode To The Fungus On My Foot
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Ode To The Fungus On My Foot

Poem By Christopher Ryan

Oh, you who herald winter’s tides,
And tell of drafty floors, besides,
For in warm weather you do thrive,
Oh fungus on my foot.

At winter’s nigh you grow bright red,
For ‘tis the cold you fear and dread
And wish to be back in our shed,
Oh fungus on my foot.

You make my foot itch in a patch
Just so behind your ears I’ll scratch;
My girlfriend leaves when you hatch,
Oh fungus on my foot.

My foot looks like a leper’s gash
Because of you, you stupid rash,
You just grow more when my foot I wash,
Oh fungus on my foot.

You itch so much, you feel like lice,
I’ll make you suffer with some ice:
Next time you see me you’ll think twice,
Oh fungus on my foot.

Last night I slept with my ice pack
And woke up with my foot all black –
Frostbite made my foot a snack,
Oh fungus on my foot.

The frostbite my foot inflamed
Until this morn, when its growth I lamed
When with a tourniquet my foot I maimed,
Oh fungus on my foot.

Now when I walk, it’s with a THUMP,
I have no foot, it’s just a stump,
But I’ll be positive, not a grump,
For gone is the fungus on my foot.

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Comments (1)

Great Heavens! ! ! Nothing like an itch to drive us to the point of...insanity? ? ! LOL My sympathies are with you. Hugs, Dee


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