Oh My Heart, Why Are You Disquieted?
Only yesterday morning you donned a happy face and celebrated the pleasures common to this life, like what every convivial mortal does and ought to do!
by Kasoka Kasoka
Yesterday afternoon I saw you come back from where I saw you going at noon, but alas, this time your face was now dressed in a sombre, helpless, hopeless, resigned and dark garment
And when you sat down next to me, your eyes begun to wander into an empty space as though there was something there you could see but couldn't understand
Your visage stood still like the bloodless, motionless, and indifferent face of the dead
Oh my dearer Heart, won't you confide in me and tell me what happened yesterday?
What transpired where you went at noon?
What befell you?
I promise I will not judge you, tell me
Won't you tell me what it is that became your portion?
Can I help you carry the load which is now weighing so heavily on your being?
Oh my dearest Heart, why are you resigned?
Your resignation resembles that of a prisoner who has been condemned to die
You resemble one who walks himself without resistance to the electric chair to be executed
Today in the morning, I saw you in pain.
I saw your suffering, but you chose not to utter even a single word of anguish
A single cry for help!
A simple cry for salvation!
Why, oh my Heart, did your lips not expel a lament for help?
Don't you want to be helped?
Since that ‘yesterday afternoon', I have been seeing you trying to conceal your pain in the darkness
I have seen you embrace darkness and made it your only consolation
Did you think I wouldn't see you in the darkness which now embraces and offers you the only agreeable companionship?
I saw darkness and resignation encircle and envelop you, but you uttered not even a single word of protestation
Why didn't you protest, oh my dearest Heart?
Is this your way of saying goodbye to what you once held dear?
Are you now forever saying goodbye to things of time and chance?
Has everything now become meaningless to you?
Things which once enchanted you
Or is your current resignation only temporal?
Oh my sweetest Heart, tell me what has become your lot
Please tell me, it's now getting darker for me in here, as well!
I know you want me to go and leave you alone
I know you don't want me to weep for what was or could have been but is no more
But you know I can never leave you alone, oh my enduring dearer Heart!
Could you just open the door and let me in in the dark as well?
So that we can both share in the coldness of the dark?
To comfort each other in pain and hopelessness
I promise you, if you let me in I will also silently mourn, and like you, be resigned and embrace the silence of the darkness
Like you, oh my sweeter Heart, I will also kiss the darkness, and together we will make our home therein until the day we could end our mourning of what was but is no more
It has been days since when you became resigned to the pleasures of life
Can't time and change relieve your pain and silent anguish, heal you, and make you ‘to be' before decay and mortality finally brings life to a full-stop?
Oh my Heart, why are you disquieted? !