Farewell

I have got my leave. Bid me farewell, my brothers!
I bow to you all and take my departure.

Here I give back the keys of my door
---and I give up all claims to my house.
I only ask for last kind words from you.

We were neighbors for long,
but I received more than I could give.
Now the day has dawned
and the lamp that lit my dark corner is out.
A summons has come and I am ready for my journey.

by Rabindranath Tagore

Comments (2)

Regarding your request concerning the title...I feel like it sterilizes the freeflow surrealism that this work has. A more powerful link might be made if you used the most vivid metaphor from the work as or within the title. This would bring the readers mind into the fray instead of giving them the 'new day' happy image your current title suggests.
It seems less like waking up than drifting into a deeper dream. Your metaphors are all over the place - tentacles restrained like a dog on a chain. Walking on eggshells, seeping into foundations, forming foundations, wrapping kids in blankets, turning into ornaments. This is a very mixed up metaphor. We submerge into fire, we water ourselves and hope for an answer to spring from soil, like they did in books. I'm not sure what the rule on mixed metaphors is in poetry. Clearly, metaphor drives poetry - but there must be some point when it becomes too much?