You Have

Yes real model
That speaks very well
It looks perfect
With sincere and honest act

No light is needed
When each word is heeded
Heard with intense desire
A long wish to admire

You are biggest catch
That I got to watch
In coming days
When I will have my own way

I shall be your crown
With beautiful words to be known
As queen of simple man
His pride and real woman

You have spelt magic
With melody and music
Even snake may dance with charm
But fearing no danger or harm

by Hasmukhlal Amathalallal

Comments (2)

Regarding your request concerning the title...I feel like it sterilizes the freeflow surrealism that this work has. A more powerful link might be made if you used the most vivid metaphor from the work as or within the title. This would bring the readers mind into the fray instead of giving them the 'new day' happy image your current title suggests.
It seems less like waking up than drifting into a deeper dream. Your metaphors are all over the place - tentacles restrained like a dog on a chain. Walking on eggshells, seeping into foundations, forming foundations, wrapping kids in blankets, turning into ornaments. This is a very mixed up metaphor. We submerge into fire, we water ourselves and hope for an answer to spring from soil, like they did in books. I'm not sure what the rule on mixed metaphors is in poetry. Clearly, metaphor drives poetry - but there must be some point when it becomes too much?