One Hot July Afternoon, I Got Down On My Knees And


(Can I count on You? Is this definite? Will implies no substitutions, no turning back, no
hesitations, no oscillations, no maybe’s.
Will is as immovable as the mountains.
Will lasts forever.)


(God. Creator of the Universe. The All- Powerful, The Almighty, The Only One. You loved me before You even knew me and in Your gentle hands rest the power of the oceans, the majesty of the skies, and the infinity of the galaxies. You are my God.)


(a verb: to grasp, to seize, to save, to capture, to affect suddenly. to stop a deadly descent. To reach out Your encompassing arms and overtake me.)


(me, Gina: a girl, a body, and inside lies her soul. A soul: (noun) a massive tangle of aspirations and desperations, tied with silver ribbon and thorny twine, sprinkled with fairy dust and shards of glass. A bittersweet throbbing perseverance to survive.)


(such a tenuous, spider web word, like a dry dead leaf shaking in the autumn breeze. If. Possibly. When implies certainty. I don’t want that certainty. I want hope. If implies hope. A chance for redemption.)


(I and no one else. This prayer is not for my family members or my friends, nor the fire- fighters down the street. I do not ask this for the starving children in Africa or the suicide-bomb victims of the Middle East. Right now, in this tiny hour, in this hot sweaty tent, I need this to be just You and me.)


(a verb: to slip like water from a fountain, to spill like milk from the glass; to stumble as
if on rocky ground; to tumble like a
race car down the track; my greatest fear:
that I’ll trip and I’ll slip and I’ll fall. And what happens after.)


(a question, a plea, a prayer, this one thing I ask, the last brick in a wall, the last check on the checklist. This one thing I need to know before I leap.)


(I wait for an answer, my very pores straining to hear)


(Unquestionably, Undoubtedly, and Indisputably. I Will Catch You If You Fall.)

So I reach out my hand and leap

But I don’t fall

I fly

by gina prettybrowneyes

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