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Our Baby, And Us

Look at her
Playing with her fuzzy stuffed animals
She has your eyes and amazingly enough she has my nose
I look over to you and see that smile
The smile that speaks so clear to me
It says contentment
It says happiness
It says love
To think I almost lost that smile
To think I almost lost this love
To think I almost lost this beautiful baby girl
I remember a time when I thought I was a super hero
The strong and never vulnerable super human who can fix anything
Until I couldn’t fix you
I couldn’t fix us
I wasn’t as strong as I thought
When we lost him
We had never even seen him
He was small and hidden inside you
When we lost him
I lost me
I couldn’t fix this
I couldn’t bring him back
I couldn’t fix this
When I lost me I found her
The other
My secret
I don’t understand what happened
But all the while
I was wishing she was you
When you saw us
You knew
I knew you knew when we drove home
Then we connected
Then you left
Already our little one was inside you
You did it and I didn’t know
You didn’t tell until I accidentally found out from your secret admirer
Who was soon to be your rebound
Why her
You could have had anyone
Why this particular person who you new I despised but still
You chose her
Maybe that was why
I hated her so you chose her
You did it to hurt me just as I had hurt you
But I deserved it
And she knew it
And she also through it in my face whenever she had the chance
But who could blame her
Look who I had betrayed
Look who I had hurt
Look who I had wronged and lost
I remember the day you came to me and for the first time we spoke
You had an ultra sound
You had invited me to see our baby
Our baby
The first time I saw our little one I thought I could die of pride
She was so beautiful
Then we connected
And I left
I remember the day you walked back into our home and told me this is where it would be
This is where we would start our family
This is the place our child would arrive
Here in our home
I remember the night at the concert
You left to go to the bathroom
I didn’t think anything of it
Until one of our friends came up to me
“ Ummm I think your wife might need some help”
I ran
I couldn’t bear the thought of something horrible happening to you or our baby
I took you home so we could welcome her
Things didn’t go as planned
The nurse called the ambulance
You felt like you failed us
Me and our girl
You had never failed us
It wasn’t long until I cut the chord
It wasn’t long until we held our baby
Our baby
Then we connected
And soon we went home
Look at her
Playing with her fuzzy stuffed animals
She has your eyes and amazingly enough she has my nose
I look over to you and see that smile
The smile that speaks so clear to me
It says contentment
It says happiness
It says love

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