DNB (09/06/66 / Raleigh, North Carolina)

Out Of Focus

A smudge of a man,
he trudged the blur between
a can-do attitude,
a cruel demeanor,
and pooled eyes
hollowed out
by too many years of
smearing his fists
against his tears.

User Rating: 4,2 / 5 ( 3 votes ) 2

Comments (2)

Out of place and out of time, out of well-defined features, watery sense of isolation and dramatic double-face not overlapping in a clear portrait/photo: I look at this poem of yours as at sort of living sketch, a charcoal drawing of a mask fighting and playing years of indefinite sadness on good intensions; a static powerlessness which excavates a deep pond inside Those eyes look like the Ancient Mariner’s eyes without their impelling power A very good poem, in my opinion A cluster of hard sounds in the first 5 lines gives and evokes the idea of harsh digging, at the 6th line the turning point melts into the sweeter flowing of tears, a cluster of /s/ sounds
This is very nice, David. You captured it in so few words. Nice to see you posting again. Raynette