Packing Her Jack Daniels
Poem By Lawrence S. Pertillar
She taught high school.
With the eagerness of a beaver.
Breath sweeten with peppermint.
With a quick wisp of her preferred beverage.
Scenting the air like mouth wash.
She would teach to her students,
Those required subjects and about life.
How to keep it real...
With a tad of spice.
The students liked her!
And she was quite nice.
But behind her desk...
In a small container.
She would keep her Jack Daniels,
Packed in ice.
Packing her Jack Daniels...
She disguised in a bottle,
Labelled 'Tonic For a Quick Lift'.
Everyone saw it.
And no one thought anything of it.
She did this for more than ten years!
And no one suspected a thing.
She was always cheerful and inebriated.
And sometimes she would stray in her lectures...
Bringing the kids to laugh to tears.
With 'Tonic For a Quick Lift' grasped tightly in her hand...
She would take a 'swig' now and then,
Do a little gargle...
Before she sat.
Daring not to stand.
And after school she would cruise,
Down her favorite avenue.
With a small nip bottle of 'Jack' close by.
As she would spy on her students.
Or so she told the police.
Who would constantly stop her...
For suspicions of DUI.
Have you been drinking? '
~Of course not!
What makes you think I've been drinking?
I am a respectable 'educator and motivator'.~
I've watched you for more than fifteen minutes.
And you've been driving in circles on the track field,
On school property.'
~I'm preparing my next lecture.
Entitled, 'Keep On the Right Track'.~
I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the vehicle.'
~But I only have my slip on! '
Remember me from last week?
That's when I stopped you...
And you were then preparing your speech,
On Extracurricular Activities.
And I was off duty then! '