*please comment, id like to know what people think of it.*
im losing my mind, trying to hide
who cares who sees my darker side?
i do, actually, but i cant stop slipping;
my darker half is breaking through, hate dripping
from every pore i dont know why,
i wait for wrath to pour out the sky,
and drench my fists in the bloody faces,
breaking bones in many places.
i am afraid, bitterness welling up, i cant stop it.
my life was so simple, nothing could top it.
but suddenly, something snapped;
something climbed out, no longer capped.
i couldnt forget, i couldnt let go;
i couldnt just go with the flow....
resentment is building, im snapping more now,
eventually i burst, and all at once, pow!
broken teeth litter the streets,
where fights raged, in the summer heat,
where i lost my cool and fell into temptation,
where once again came the conflagration
in my soul the blazing emotion,
i try to hide it, but friends get the notion
that im angry, they want to be educated
to tell you the truth, im just really frustrated.
they want to know why im so cynical and sarcastic,
to tell you a lie, im feeling fantastic.
heavy pounding my ears, go deaf from the sound,
blairing the music helps keep the rage down...
my parents dont get it, they think its my fault,
they think i can just change, they think i can halt
the advance of my bitter emotions, the loss of my compassion
i was flying high once, but now im just crashin'
losing all my perspective, heading into constant self- derrision,
this complicated sitution has given me tunnel vision.
i dont know who i am,
i think love's a scam,
im breaking through the ignorance, that constant dam
i chisel away, and finally, bam,
my eyes are opened, i see the light.
i have found it, for something i now fight.
my whole world melted when i saw her, saw her face,
my life was on the edge, and she brought me back, gave me back my place.
but that was short lived, now i was back, yes,
but i still had to fix my life, that mess
i had left in the wake of my self-pity binge
i was left now, just on the fringe
of getting back to normal life, and maybe some romance,
but first i had to go through the whole dance,
the sorrys, the ammends, the reunions so tearful
the tinge of doubt was still their but i looked quite cheerful.
this continues today, and i dont know whats ahead
i hope i can keep going and keep that shred
of hope alive, and maybe help others,
god knows i would, if i only had my druthers.