! Pooh Bear And The Alarming Rumour

In the Hundred Acre Wood, agitation spread like one of those cold March winds that seem to be blowing in every direction at once. All the Animals were murmuring to each other, then to someone else, and rumour spread like blown dry leaves in an autumn gale..

Wol’s nephew, who was too clever for his own good, Wol said, had found a torn piece of dirty newspaper wrapped round some compost behind a tree, which came, it said, ‘From Our …..wood Correspondent’
and which said something about ‘…Robin…girl’…

What could it mean? Had CR found a girlfriend? Pooh was half happy for him, but the other half knew that girls meant boys having less time for walks in the wood with bears, however Much Loved…

Others feared that CR would be going away to school, as he had told them he would one day, and his sister – who they’d never met – would come instead and do girly things like tidy up, and brush Eeyore’s hair away from his eyes, and sit the Animals in a row and play School … Piglet turned very pink around the ears at the thought.

Rabbit’s friends and relations were unconcerned – they had bunny girls of their own to play with. But Roo got the story wrong as usual, and thought CR would change into a girl, like hens sometimes change into cocks, and got all excited and jumped up and down shouting ‘Christine Robinia…’ which embarrassed everyone. While Tigger just bounced around, hoping that this would be a New Adventure after all..

Only Tortus, who was so old that he had once seen Snow White walking through the Hundred Acre Wood, feared the worst…saying that girls from that wood with the holly in it had rosebud mouths, tidy hair, long eyelashes, sang silly songs, and were yucksomely sentimental…

Could it be true? The Animals all crowded in front of Wol’s tree to ask his advice. Wol took a long time to find his spectacles, and came out looking serious.

‘The wood with the holly in it is a long way from our wood’ said Wol, ‘and doesn’t see us as we see ourselves…so you must prepare yourselves for the worst…’

The Animals walked slowly and sadly away. It seemed as if the end of the world were nigh. No more Christopher Robin, and a girl with rosebud lips and tidy hair and long eyelashes instead? They would just have to wait and see. Some girls, after all, are fond of all animals…some are even tomboys and kick leaves and walk through puddles and climb trees…

Eeyore hadn’t joined the crowd. He stayed in the corner of his field, eating a dewy breakfast. ‘No one asked me…’ he said mournfully. ‘ I’m always the last to be consulted…’

And so the Animals waited for the next chapter in their lives.


[There was a rumour a year ago in the Hollywood Reporter or some such, that Disney were trying to insinuate a girl lead into the stories...]

by Michael Shepherd

Comments (1)

You have to know that Pooh Bear's sellout Disney makeover, with that dumbum mouth, is regarded by Brits as on a par with the Bush administration... and now they're planning to change CR to a girl...