- Rant Good News, Bad News (Midlife Crisis Ranting) - Part 3
Good news is my doctor told me I had one day to live
by Ronberge (anno primo)
Bad news is he should have called yesterday!
Good news is I got myself a brand new giant TV
Bad news is the remote doesn’t work!
Good news is still good
Bad news is even worse!
Good news is a prince finally married for love
Bad news is someone had to die for it!
Good news is the teachers are doing something about the violence at school
Bad news is the kids will still be there long after they’re gone!
Good news is I have loved and lost
Bad news is I have hated and won!
Good news is my boss is insane
Bad news is that's why he hired me! (or is it the other way around?)
Good news is I’m great in bed
Bad news is I’m not so great out of it!
Good news is I’ve been laid off
Bad news is I’m kinda enjoying it!
Good news is I am now a connoisseur of fine wines
Bad news is I am now a drunk!
Good news is I can lay on the floor without holding on
Bad news is I don’t know where up is anymore!
Good news is I can’t fall off the floor
Bad news is I can't miss it!
Good news is I’ve quit smoking my two packs a day of cigarettes
Bad news is I’m now chewing six packs a day of nicorettes!
Good news is I still have my intelligence
Bad news is it means my wife gave hers to the kids!
Good news is you’ve lost your virginity
Bad news is you won’t get it back!
Good news is at work I got more responsibilities and a raise
Bad news is so did my heart and blood pressure!
Good news is I hired a (pretty) secretary to help me with work (just work, honest!)
Bad news is my wife made me fire her before she finished it!
Good news is I finally get to spend an evening with my wife
Bad news is it’s at home, with the kids!
Good news is I’m feeling happy
Bad news is I’ll get over it somehow!
Good news is the results are reproducible
Bad news is they all fail the same way!
Good news is we’re making progress
Bad news is it’s in the wrong direction!
Good news is things will get better
Bad news is they’ll get worse before they do!
Good news is once you keep something long enough you can throw it away
Bad news is you will most likely need it right after!
Good news is the lines are moving much faster now
Bad news is your in the one which isn’t!
Good news is I finally got my new computer program running
Bad news is it’s already obsolete!
Good news is enough data will prove anything with statistical methods
Bad news is I’ve got nothing left to prove!
Good news is discoveries are mistakes (to err is human?)
Bad news is the more $$$ the longer we wait for the mistake!
Good news is men will act rationally one day
Bad news is they haven’t exhausted all the options yet!
Good news is we’re not heading towards a horrible end
Bad news is meanwhile we’re in a never ending horror!
Good news is when you have a child you become a parent
Bad news is when you have two+ you become a referee!
Good news is this one’s over
Bad news is …well you can guess can you?