Stumbles Of Noteworthy Hall

STUMBLES OF NOTEWORTHY HALL

I AM THE FOOTMAN AT STUMBLES HALL,
BEING ONLY 12 INCHES HIGH,
THE LORD, LADY AND EXTENDED FAMILY,
DO ON OCCASIONS HAVE TROUBLE SEEING ME.
IT ALSO DOES NOT HELP THAT THEY ARE OFTEN PARTIAL,
TO THE ODD WHISKEY, WINE, PUNCH, BEER,
AS WELL AS THE OCCASIONAL OPIUM PUFF.
BASICALLY THEY ARE SQUIFFY ALL THE TIME.
BEING A LACKEY THEY ARE ALWAYS TELLING ME,
THAT I GET UNDER THEIR FEET,
HOW THIS CAN BE SO I DO NOT KNOW,
AS THEY ARE HORIZONTAL MOST OF THE TIME.

BEING SO SMALL,
I HAVE TROUBLE FINDING A YOUNG LADY,
SO I SPEND MY TIME OFF IN THE FOREST ON THE ESTATE,
SPEND IT WITH THE PIXIES.
THEY DO NOT MIND ME AS I AM NO THREAT TO THEM.
I HAVE MY EYE ON DIXIE, PIXIE,
WHO I HAVE NICKNAMED TRICKY DIXIE,
AS SHE PERFORMS SUCH A LOT OF AERIAL TRICKS.
I DO LOVE MUSHROOMS TOO!
THEY HAVE SUCH A PRETTY COLOUR,
WITH ALL THAT MORNING DEW UPON THEM.
I SIT ON THE BIG ONES,
THE ONES WITH SPOTS ON!

"ME LORD, ME LORD
YOURYEN TSIANG IS GOING OUT! "

by Barry Conway

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