Incapable Of Being Loved

Nothing lasts forever. I no longer believe in eternity. I believe there may really be no one for me. There is no such thing as a soulmate. Maybe there is no fate. I believe I will be alone. Its impossible for someone to love me. I always thought the love was enough to save us. But now I see its not. So where do we go from here? It seems there is no point in trying. Eventually everything comes to an end. I have lost so much faith. Somewhere along the path I chose I was shown that there is no one who can really love me forever. There is no such thing as forever. Something suddenly happens and they question being with me. I am incapable of being loved. Yet I have so much love to give. So where do I go from here? I can't put my heart into something that I know will come to an end. Therefore what is the reason to make it begin? I wonder if it is possible for someone to love me... And maybe they just choose not to. Maybe they don't want to. I can hide from this pain. I won't look into his eyes the same. Because I refuse to let another man hurt me. I refuse to let him break me apart. So if he is not ready to open his heart... Then I will keep mine closed. I have been damaged enough so now I see. If no one is capable of loving me... Then I will love myself unconditionally.

(Aug.30,2008)

by Carmella Stajanca

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