Depression is my burden
by David Keig
I just want recovery
I want a resurrection
That’s what this Easter means to me.
But I don’t want pain or sorrow
Nor being nailed onto a cross
I’m numbed by medication
And the acuity I’ve lost.
Perhaps there’s good in all this bad?
Perhaps there’s sunshine at the end?
Perhaps I’m paying the full price
For not having been my friend?
Suicide keeps being mentioned
When psychiatrists I see
I would not do it! Not at all!
I don’t want a Calvary.
Yet self-loathing is a cancer
More invasive than self-doubt
I feel I’ve been invaded
And I can’t get that devil out.
People say ‘just look at Churchill’
And others who inspired
They suffered from depression
And it somehow stoked their fires.
I smile with all these comments
I was the most relaxed of men
But when the smiling’s over
That Black Dog comes again.
Sometimes the anger gets too much
And I start shouting at the moon
Adrenalin is shaking me
And sleep can’t come too soon.
I am not the Easter Bunny
Nor am I Christ upon the cross
I used to be a normal person
But it’s now the plot I’ve lost.
Each day I hope for resurrection
To feel the sun and smile and see
That there is hope and happiness
But it’s crucifying me.
For depression is my burden
It’s my crown of thorns to wear
I wake each single morning
Hoping it’s not there.