When I was drunk, you was beautiful!
You smelled of tar on a newly laid road.
When I was drunk, you was wonderful!
You had pretty warts like that of a toad.
Your eyes are round like manhole covers,
Your face shines like a polished car.
I think we two are the fated lovers,
Like two patties on a burger fr'yer.
Your the Chevy I never had,
The Ol' Seventy-nine I could never restore.
Oh please be mine, I love you mad!
Your not like 'em other whores.
I'll be the wheels in the front,
You'll be the wheels at the back;
Marriage will be our connectin shaft,
We'll get rid of 'em brakes, oh heck!
You stole my 'eart you pretty robber,
Marry me, you won't regret!
'Urry now, I'll soon be sober!
And discover you're an ugly wretch.