Everyone knows that proselytizers like you are fairly
robotic in their thinking and behavior. So if that’s the
case, why not be totally truthful about it and start
speaking in a robotic way when you meet people? Try
speaking in that monotone voice kids use when
they’re imitating robots - you know, with equal
emphasis on every syllable: You-must-hand-over-
your-soul-to-Je-sus-or-pay-the-con-se-quen-ces.” You
could even go “Beep” at the end of each sentence.
And when you’re trying to twist someone’s arm to
become a believer and they say they already lead a
happy and productive life, you can say, “That-does-
not-compute. Beep. That-does-not-compute.”

by Professor Poetry Hound

Comments (5)

Danger Will Robinson! Danger! Your eternal soul! Another good write! Glad to see your batteries are holding up. -chuck
this piece brings to mind a few robots who could use a good defragging and some well-placed registry edits. Jake
I think you have this pretty well right Prof. I am reminded though of some who aren't quite robotic. You got your Holy Rollers and they're never going to build a robot to do that stuff. You got your Benny Hin who is slapping people on the forehead, knocking them down and shaking on the floor getting healed of all the shit that don't ail you. The Catholics, up and down, kneeling and standing, standing and kneeling, making you wish you gave up smoking. The Hari Krishna playing tamborine man with one hand and the other looking for loose change. And I'm never going to stick my hands in a pile of snakes and drink poison. Probably others, but what the hey. Could be the robot is a good idea.
It felt more like a funny and well-written anecdote rather than a poem, until the end when it slipped over into poetry. How do you do that? Linda
I wonder how happy some of them really are...nice PoHo really nice :)