(04 October 1943 / Germany)

Rolfie's Test

A tiny bit of trepidation
arrived with me at half past seven.
I told my spouse that transportation
was not required 'til eleven.
CABOOLTURE PUBLIC, said the sign
and waiting was a handsome girl,
it was too late now to decline,
she smiled, I said 'give it a whirl.'

As now she outlined the procedure,
(I'm sure to make me feel at ease) ,
my colon was to be the feature,
though I was getting weakened knees.

They knocked me out but not about
and did their thing with that long hose.
A white coat figure, rather stout,
stood by in case this guy arose
before the tunnel was explored.
But things went well, so not to worry,
the man that gassed me now looked bored,
he may have been in a slight hurry
to find the truth in my insides.

And soon, a young angelic sister
is there beside me and confides
that things looked good, I would have kissed her
had it not been for my sweet dragon
who was expected to appear
to pick me up in our old wagon.
So I said 'Sister, sister, dear,
I am so starved, would you by chance
have tucker and perhaps a nip? '

Instead, the woman does a dance
around me and removes the drip.
And here it is, a banquet, WOW,
with sandwiches and orange juice,
and coffee, then she shows me how
to sit and rest, or even snooze
in comfy lounge chairs, I must say,
if this is what a man can get,
when he arrives, with feet of clay,
and nervous, trying not to fret
for his own colonoscopy,
then our system is not sick.
And if you ask what it will be,
a carrot or a heavy stick,
I say emphatically NO.

Four hours I had been their guest,
and, even though it was their show,
Caboolture Public is the best.
Hotels and restaurants are rated
routinely, highest is five stars.
The ratings then will be debated,
a bad result though often mars
the business, how it will thrive.
It's detrimental when grown men
bestow a number below five......
but I will give you a FULL TEN.

by Herbert Nehrlich

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