as tears roll down her face,
she struggles through the pain,
that she faces everyday,
knowing she will never do what she loves,
for the rest of her life.

always left out in physical activity,
never keeping up with her friends,
feeling emptiness at the end of the day.
struggles to open up to people,
feeling the judgement when people know.

she questions everyones trust,
unsure who she can open up to,
whether or not they want her in their life
or if they will open their arms for her and take her in,
to take the risk she'll have to learn from her mistakes.

she tries no matter how much pain it brings,
wanting to fit in with sports,
goes past her limits, exceeding potential danger,
just to feel apart of her group and happiness beyond describing,
knowing nothing is going to stop her

the thought of ever having another operation
the thought of having a heart attack
the thought of never seeing the people she loves again.
is it all worth it to do the one thing that she enjoys in life?
will she find something she loves as much as sport
or carry the emptiness around with her?

the memories of the hospital
the memories of the pain through her chest and ribs
the memories of her mum next her every step of the way
the memories of how scared she was before the second operation
and overall the painful memories she will live with forever.

dreaming of a change,
wanting answers, why me?
so many questions to be answered,
so much sadness within
and know-one to help her through the confusion and pain

first poem, rate it and comment please, just wrote my feelings down one night and this is what i came up with.

by Melanie Devlin

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