Sardonic Joke Coined Desire

Friends, I've found ambition can lead only to failure
Maybe all my dreams and frustrations were all I’ve ever had.
Does it just boil down to that?
Could it be that everything… existence is just this bland colorless thing left for humanity to decorate?
With their ornate notions… or lack there of
Could it be that life is littered with archetypical aspects that one can only hope to comprehend, but not necessarily interpret?
Eat, breathe, sleep. Eat, breath, sleep…
The rising and falling of the chest,
In step with the monotonous rhythm of a content heartbeat;
That solaceful waltz.
And why does one even feel sorry for himself?
Does it really ease his pain or create a solution?
If anything…
It feeds that sardonic joke coined desire.
This tempestuous, contentious lust
Is fueled by the blatant and oh-so-painfully ignorant misconceptions of life.
What we’ve always been told was true.
Selfishness.
How often will one express legitimate concern when they themselves are not even indirectly affected by it?
Greed, desire, lust…
These words have intentionally lost their meanings.
But these actions in themselves bring out the worst in us.
Desire equals lust equals frustration equals pain.
A pretty face yields failure.
I should never feel indignance because I bring this on myself…
Or rather leave it on someone else.
Because regardless of however much I magnify my own flaws, it’s still never
My own fault
And that is because I’ve fallen in love with what I can never have.
I’m subconsciously masochistic.
All I do and all I want leads to pain.
I feel redundant.
Because I am.

by Audrey Stephenson

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