Shiny Sidewalls

The concept of justice is pretty important in the Bible,
so I assume there are gradations of punishment in
Hades. Like, if you engaged in relatively minor sins
like cheating on your income taxes, then maybe you’ll
have to endure a series of Indian burns for eternity. Or
like if you were a stalker, then maybe you’ll get
bonked on the head with a cast-iron frying pan every
once in awhile. Now, if you were a murderer, then
you’ll get the full pain treatment – you’ll have to wear
headphones and listen to nonstop commentary from
smarmy televangelists at full volume.

So Hell is kind of like a carwash, where there are
different levels, like you can have a regular wash or
maybe you get the deluxe wash, where they spray
some extra wax goop on your car or do tire treatments
or something. I’ve always thought tire treatments
were kind of ridiculous. I mean, who really cares if
their sidewalls are shiny? And those guys who
vacuum the cars always do such a cursory job. I hope
when they get to Hell the devil gives them a little
poke in their butts with that pointy tail of his

by Professor Poetry Hound

Comments (4)

Dante's Inferno: condenced and updated and a lot more fun to read. Excellent piece Prof and in these days of relativeness, a very thoughtful piece.
The usual funniness, sharp as a tackedness and oh that's actually quite a good pointedness from you Prof. Ya just keep getting better. Hugs Anna xxx
The Hindus say that the justic you get doled out, is that you become the stakee, the murderee, next time, dose of your own medicine so to speak... neat...thing is, at what level do you register this? Obviously not the gee whizz level, perhaps your conscience stirs...and are you murdered in turn by your victim, hey big deal, or have they moved on...? Wow, eternal justice is way off the curriculum. Finishing schools don't really quite live up to their name.
Hey Prof, I remember those Indian burns and may prefer the bonk on the head. One of those car sweepers has a handful of my change. Maybe it got caught up in the sweeper. If he goes to hell I hope he has to use a fifty cent pay toilet and only has thirty five cents. Fun Write.