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Sometimes I Feel So Happy
(February/'47 / Connecticut, USA)

Sometimes I Feel So Happy

Poem By Lawrence S. Pertillar

I've had enough of my self involvement.
Looking into mirrors and other objects,
To find my reflection 'radiating' to stun...
Anyone,
Making attempts to shade my 'light'
From their bare eyes.
I saw them squinting as I passed.

I've had enough of my self involvement.
And with happiness intact!

I've even considered giving part-time appearances.
You know...
Those that are disshoveled.
Looking lost and bewildered.
Frightened and dismayed.
Distressed and beatened down...
Because 'somebody-done-did-'em-wrong! '
The Stress Bearers...
Out in full force!

I do not want to show total self involvement.
With a complete appreciation for my life.
And a grateful thankfulness to 'The Almighty'
For allowing me to feel so good about myself!
Not today.
It's enough that I have to 'pretend' I am upset with 'something...
Just to get back to B from point A,
And back on a daily basis.
I do this...
So I don't stand out!
Completely alone.

I saw someone smiling the other day.
I couldn't believe it.
We rushed to get closer together...
Quicker than Whoopie Goldberg did,
When she say her sister coming towards her...
In the movie 'The Color Purple'!

And both of us decided to have a quick cup of coffee.
Just to get away from the onslaught of stress...
Dragging up and down the streets around us.

That's how threatened we felt...
That someone suspicious observing this,
Would have us arrested for fraud!

'Have you seen what is going on lately? '

~Seen it?
I am tired of masquerading that I am 'about it'.
Sometimes I feel so happy,
I know I'm gonna be locked up...
For expressing too much of it! ~

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