Soo Ruude!

Poem By Barry Conway

SOO RUUDE!

I TRIED TO WRITE A POOEM WITHOOUT BEING RUUDE,
BUT IT WAS VERY HARD TOOO SUCSEWD,
IT TURNED OOUT SOOMEWHAT QUITE LEEEWD,
BUT IT WAS ALWAYS THE CASE WHOO KNEEEWD!

FOOR YOU SEE I'M REALLLY QUITE BAALMY,
I TRAVELLL WITH MY OOWN PRIVATE AARMY,
SOO NOO OONE CAN GET CLOOSE AND HAARM ME,
SEE I TOOLD YOU THAT I'M QUITE BAARME!

THE WOORDS ARE REALLY QUITE FILTHYY,
EVEN THOOUGH I'M SOMEWHAT QUITE WEALTHYY,
I LOOVE TO PLAY OON MY OOWN C, , AND C,
AS LADIES YOOU KNOOW I'M QUITE HEALTHYY!

SOO LADIES COOME SWIM IN MY POOOOL,
AND I'LL MAKE YOOU A STRAWBERRRY FOOOL,
AND WE CAN PREETEND TO BOOTH BE SOO COOOL,
MAKING LOOVE I'LL TAKE YOOU TO SCHOOOL!

NOOW LADIES GIVE ME ALLL THAT YOOU'VE GOOT,
IN REALLITY I MUST HAVE THE LOOOT,
CAUSE I'M COOLD, NEVER QUITE HOOOT,
NEVER SAY NOO, NEVER NOO KNOOT!

I USED TO LIVE BY THE SEEA,
BUT ALLL THE GIRLS KEPT CHASING MEE,
ALL I WANTED WAS JUST TOO BE FREEE,
DOON'T THINK I'LLL BEND DOWN OON ONE KNEEE!


NOO I'M REALLY TOOO OOLD FOR THE CHAASE,
SOO COOME AND GET ME WITH HAASTE,
I PROOMISE I W'OONT SPOIL YOUR FAACE,
IS IT MINE OOR IS IT YOUR PLAACCE?

SOO REMEMBEER THE STORY SO FAAR,
AND PUT THAT BIG KEY IN YOUR CAAR,
PUT MAKE UP OON THAT BIRTHDAY SCAAR,
FOOR WHERE I LIIVE IS'NT SOO FAAR!


CAUSE I PROOMISE THERE W'ONT BE NOO HARRMS,
WHEN YOU'RE LAYING THERE IN MY ARRMS,
JUST PEACE, TRANQUILITIES AND CAALMS,
WAY DOOWN WITH ME OON THE FAARMS!

FOOR NOONESENSE IS MY MIDDDLE NAAME,
AND LOOVING IS MY FAVOURITE GAAME,
I'M WILD BUT FOOR YOOU I'LL BE TAAME,
AS DEEEP DOOWN INSIDDE WE'RE THE SAAME!


OOOH LIGHTS THAT SHINE FROOM AFAAR,
PLEASE MAKE SURE I'M NOOT A LIAAR,
FOOR MY WOORDS ALWAYS LOOOK TO AASPIRE,
TOO REACH THE TOOP OOF THE FIIRE!


SOO IN THE END I WROOTE IT GOOOD,
IT'S THE WAY I PAY FOR MY FOOOD,
I OOFTER WOONDER IF I REALLY SHOOOUD,
BUT THE OOTHERS ALWAYST THOOUGHT THAT I WOOULD!

IT WILL TURN OOUTYOOU KNOOW I WILL WIIN,
FOOR I START AT THE END AND BEGUIIN,
AND WOORK MY WAY THROOUGH ALL THE GIIN,
WRITTTING RUBBBISH, MAYHEM AND SIIN!

Comments about Soo Ruude!

Ha ha ha. Its quite good. You have permission to write in english now. Its not rude. Its quite noo male


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