BP ( / London)

Conversation With A Cat

Hey Cat! You brat!
Why do you bite me?
And claw me and scratch - see!
Look at that!

My hand all scratched and bleeding
I know you meant no harm
But just look at my arm!
It's all red and burning

And here you lie calmly
Next to me on the sofa
Licking yourself all over
Purring contentedly

I wish I had fur to lick
I wouldn't need this clothing
Wouldn't have to go shopping
Maybe wouldn't get sick

When I'm not dressed enough
And it's cold and raining
Imagine - no more washing
Or ironing; life would be less tough

With a warm fur coat like you
Covering me from head to toe
None of my soft skin would show
I'd have so much less to do

And I'd be nicely protected
From cuts and scrapes
And burns and chafes,
From sun and snow defended

And think! All my emotion
Would never be revealed
Embarrassment concealed
I'd hide every reaction

Yes, I'm really wondering why
A cat has fur, a tortoise a shell,
A fish scales, a bird is feathered well
But no animal's as bare as I

What did God have in mind
When he made a naked man
And, of course, a naked woman
So unlike every other kind

Then borrowed animals' skin
And made them long garments
Instead of fig-leaf habiliments
They'd donned after their sin

So, Kitty, do you have some reply
To all my thoughts and inquiring?
As you lie there peacefully purring
Oblivious to questions of how and why

by Laurie Van der Hart

Comments (5)

Very funny. It really made me laugh
Dear Brigid, Thish ish a very funny poem! Clever use of language and the inversion of words is well-chosen and adds to the delight. Kindly, Hugh
exshellent work...sotally tuberb...i drowned in your words and was left intoxicated. Just let me drive, ok...very funny poem
very funny! loved the crazy words