Spider Gus

A spider lived in our shower.
I named him Gus, he was a perv,
would hang there hour after hour,
quite motionless, with steely nerve.

His eyes lit up when someone nude
stepped inside to perform some cleaning.
And Gus was always in the mood
to leave his web, you get my meaning,
dropp down to get a closer look
at all the goodies on display.
The closeness of the water shook
the spider's web, to his dismay.

One night a man went in the shower
to wash some remnants off his Willie.
'Twas rather late, the twilight hour
and Gus came down, felt rather silly.
And, as it was he got excited,
which was then further hightened yet
when from the bedroom now alighted
the female partner, out of bed.
He stared at her with greed and lust,
forgot that his arachnoid member
was rather small and in December
the turbulence will always get you,
if you get close they may not let you
retrace your steps to safer ground.
And this my friend is what transpired:
Fully erect he fell and drowned
and in the drain he then expired.

by Herbert Nehrlich

Comments (5)

This is not bad, not bad at all! It is lined with a tongue-in-cheek kind of humour and how it 'transpires' has been really well thought about and erected well. haha. Nice one.
Thats a great poem rather odd but very interesting its great to see more poeple with an interest in spiders. Your friend Gus sounds rather like Franklin an 8 legged mate of mine who lives in my bedroom.
I am not a great lover of spiders but I did enjoy reading this....it was sweet in it's own little way.
No Allan, Gus really did live in my shower and I am pretty sure that he looked at my various parts with great appreciation. All the other visitors were smaller children or females so..... I enjoyed his company (perhaps being a bit of an arachnoid exhibitionist) but one day, She who hates spiders 'accidentally' flushed him down the drain. Then she had the guts to report hearing Gus calling my name repeatedly as he went down. I thought I would give him a bit of a cheeky farewell. H
This is one of your best poems, Herbert. I saw the spider, the water, it was a movie and very well done.10+