Poem By Alison Cassidy
In Croydon town last week
I chanced to have to use
The fully automated
Toilet complex - recently installed.
Confronted by a row
of gleaming stainless doors
labeled aggressively (and also in Braille)
I pressed the 'vacant' button.
A door opened automatically
and I entered the stainless world.
Inside the sound of stainless music
filled the air and a stainless voice
(American) said emphatically
'Push button to close door.
You have ten minutes.'
With some trepidation,
confronted wth such a time limit,
I sat upon the stainless seat
and pressed a button
which released paper - slowly
one sheet at a time.
After hastily completing my task
I stood and failed to find
a button to flush the stainless bowl
(without the usual lid to close)
Again I heart the steely voice command
'Wash your hands and the toilet
will flush automatically'
Guiltily I held my hands under
the stainless tap and let the water run.
The door released, the music stopped
and I made a hasty retreat.
Henceforth when taken short,
I'll use the dunnies at the railway station
despite their broken seats
and piss-stained concrete floors.