MN (11-08-1970 / )

Stolen Cherries

I prayed they wouldn't see me.
I'd hide between the branches.
They had no way of knowing
those cherries were all I'd have
to eat that day.

I knew they'd yell if they saw me.
They always did.
They'd yell for me to ''Get out of there! ''
Like I was a stray dog they found
sifting through their garbage.
I would just jump down
and run home...and wait
till I thought they weren't looking.

I couldn't blame them.
Afterall, they took alot of time
pruning and caring for those trees.
(lucky trees)

The girl that lived there
was in my class.
She never acted like she knew
I ate their cherries.
But, I knew she knew.

I tried to pick extra once
to save some for later
when I knew I would be hungry again.
But, the bigger kids would take them
as soon as I got in the house.

That tree was the only ''safe place''
I could enjoy a meal
with my little brother.
He was only five
and he couldn't climb so well.
He always needed a boost
to get to a good hiding spot
in the tree.

I hate cherries.

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Comments (8)

Technicalities of poetry were never the most important thing, the meaning in your poetry is The meaning and strength of the message here is one that many of us need to adhere to, Well Done Mary this is without a doubt a fine display of words, Love Duncan
I disagree with Herbert. I think this is effective. At first, I was not at all comfortable with the lack of subtlety of 'those cherries were all I'd have / to eat that day.' Maybe I assumed something like that because you used 'pray' in the first line, a strong word for a childhood lark in a cherry tree. I liked 'lucky trees', though that sort of inserted line would not always work for me- in this interjection you have a child's voice (or an adult's voice in reflection of a childhood emotion) . I am REALLY fond of the ending. Note that 'after all' and 'a lot' are both phrases consisting of two words. Play with the order of stanzas 4-6. If you come back to the order you have now, wonderful, but note the subtle changes in the connotation of 'I hate cherries' depending on the order of the preceeding stanzas. Oh, and Uriah may be correct in this case, Mary, but not always. Your poem is more than honest and heartbreaking - I've read a lot of honest, heartbreaking crap and this is a good bit of work.
Mary, I think any poem this honest and this heartbreaking, is a great poem!
I know you did not ask me, Mary, but this is not one of your good poems. Yes, you are doing very well with the non-rhyming poetry but not in this one. Now, if you never speak to me again..... Best wishes H
You certainly had the determination to survive Mary, good for you, but I know what it takes to keep that determination going strong. Well written indeed. You're doing real good at this new type of poem. Sincerely Ernestine
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