JTG (June 26,1990 / Lowell, Ma)

Struggle

Im cut deeper now then ever before
No longer do I want to walk out that door
I just want to be left alone with noone to care
Simply wish i could disappear

The only thing holding me up of my feet
Is my family and friends that always save my seat
They never let anything come between
No matter the situation they have always seen

Right through my disguise of fake smiles
I wish that everything in the bible
Was true and that there is a god
I sometimes wonder if its a fraud

However through the last few years
I have seen more and more tears
Fall down my face and those around me
This can't be right, but its what i see

I want there to be something else after life
A happier place where there is no strife
This is what i want to believe
Sometimes place doesn't exist to me

I mean how many others are feeling this way
How many others are suffering every day
Theres just so many people in this world
So many voices that need to be heard

Some people are drivin crazy from their thoughts
Unable to harness the inner beast
It takes a grip and tosses them around
Puts them into defeat

Depression and anger
The feelings below
The ones that won't go away
Instead selfishly give you a blow

Straight to the mind and the heart
Never recovering the way you were from the start
Knowing with time it will eventually scar
This is where i stand, wishing on a shooting star

Knowing that my wishes probally won't come true
But i can keep hopeing just like you
I don't know where I will be in a few years
In the same place, out at sea, maybe a billion years

Away from anyone that I know and simply call my friend
But you always will know me and my memories within
Thats all I can do for you and if you dont accept
The fact that I am suffering because you simply forget

Everyone deserves a chance to make something right
So if you really want it, put up your best fight
For me I have givin up on any of my dreams
So if you truly miss what we used to see

I will be here waiting
You can simply come find me
Im done with searching around
I just get hurt deep down

Im sick of feeling out of place
I wish that i had found
A place that my head can be in peace
No longer knowing pain

Im just about over this shit
Getting closer to insane
You know as a matter of fact
Pain is constantly in my veins

Someone, please come find me
Someone, I need help
Someone, listen to my voice
Someone, hear my yelp

Someone, give me a hug
Someone, show me the meaning
Someone, please remind me
Someone, please show me you care

by Joshua Thomas Gage

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