Stupid Northern Pie
One humid summer night
by Haruna Garba
Suddenly broke the breeze
And in to scorpion my Ibo friend stepped
Scorpion which had surfaced to take air-bath
Stung, the venom knotted his tongue
Taking a leap, in obscene he unknotted the tie
Getting hold of syringed foot, he wanted to know
The bastard that might've planted fireball his way
So I with a torch pushed a switch
And here was scorpion wagging a tail
SCORPION, not a fireball, so I said
You have been stung
And what are all these again? He thundered
Watchaya mean by SCONE and PIE?
Aren't they all PASTRIES?
This what you cook for a pie around here?
Stupid northern pie!