MR (2-6-94 / Jonesboro, Arkansas)

Suicide

'SUICIDE, THE EASE OF DEATH. THAT IS WHAT I LONG FOR, THE EASE OF DEATH. MAYBE ONE DAY I WILL BE ABLE TO TAKE TO BLADE AND CUT MY WRISTS. ALL I CAN DO NOW IS PUT IT ON THERE AND HOPE THAT I AM STRONG ENOUGH. I KNOW THAT I AM NOT BUT I WILL BE SOON. I KNOW IT BECAUSE I CAN FELL IT.'



THIS IS SOMETHING SOMEONE VERY DEAR TO ME ONCE SAID. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS JUST WRITING BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO BE A WRITER. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT HER PARENTS BEAT HER AND I WASN'T WITH HER WHEN SHE KILLED HERSELF. I ARRIVED 5 MINUTES LATE AND FOUND HER ON THE FLOOR BLEEDING. I CALLED THE COPS AND STAYED WITH HER HOLDING HER HAND. WHEN THEY ARRIVED AT THE SCENE SHE WAS ALREADY DEAD AND I WAS THERE CRYING STILL HOLDING HER HAND. I DONT THINK I'LL EVER BE ABLE TO GET THAT IMAGE OUT OF MY HEAD BECAUSE I DREAM ABOUT IT EVER NIGHT AND HAVE EVER SENCE THEN.

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