JB ( / )

Suicide Love

as she sleeps she flips and turns and flashes of her life play in her head all the teaseing
she goes through just for being herself and all the people that dont even know her but judge her
just by her looks all beacuse she wears dark cloths and doesnt wear the latest fashions
and all this is going through her head shes just wanting to just wake up and face the day thats ahead of her she slowly comes to and lifts her head slowly and all her problems rush back to her and she hurts
all over again so she gets up and takes a shower in hope to wash away all her pain and misary
as she scrabs her body hard and leaves it red and sore she looks at the soap swirling down the
drain and she wishes it was her insted as she turns the water off she takes a step out and she
walks over to the mirror and just stares at herself wondering why she is here what is the reason
and she writes i message on the fog felled mirror that says 'im sorry i cant do it anymore'
and with that said she walks to go get ready for the day she puts on black pants and a black shirt
and she remembers her moms at work already and her moms friend is comeing to take her to
school but thats not for another hour or two and as time slowly passes more and more thoughts come
to her and they start to become to overwleaming for her to take she just wants the pain to stop
and she tells herself she will do anything for the pain to stop and she lifts her head up and she
spots a rope and she walks over to it and she begins runing her fingers across the rope wondering
what would people think if she ended her life right at this moment she wonders if that would solve
all her problems and as that thought is going through her head the phone rings but she does not
answer is so the answering machine clicks on and she hers her moms friend saying 'i will be a little late but not to worry i will be there to take you to school bye sweetie' and then it clicks off and shes there alone once again with her thoughts and rope still in hand she slowly makes a lupe and walks over to her closet and stands on a chear and ties it to the woodin pole and just stands there looking at in almost in a daze her vision starts to get blury and tears start to run down her check but she wipes them away fast and tells her self 'this is for the best and the only thang that will stop all the pain and sorrow and misery i feel and you no one will even miss me' so she slowly puts the rope over her head and around her neck and she starts to think about the people that hurt her but then she starts to think about the people that she will miss and might get hurt by whats shes planing to do and her mind keeps going back to the guy she will never get to talk to again and will never be able to tell him she loves him even if he dont love her back she feels like he should know that he made her happy in alot of ways and he has no clue that everything she has ever told him she has never told anyone else and what she felt when he would tell her everything would be ok and not to worry about a thang and that everything happens for a reason and that she will find that one person that will make her very happy but little did he know she wanted him to be that person and she felt gulty for not telling him her true feelings about him and she felt like he needed to know so she took the rope off from around her neck and let it swing there and went to her computer and planed on writing a email to the guy that made her smile and laugh more then anyone else but when she signed in she had one new email titled 'i have to tell you' and she opened it and this is what she seen
'i know we havent talked that long but for some reason i have fallin in love with you and i think you are the one and i really hope your not freaked out right now but i thought you needed to know that you have my heart and i hope you always know your amazing in everyway even if no one else sees it your once in a life time kind of girl and i hope you never forget that' and on the very bottom of the letter she seen 'p.s i love you and always will even if you dont love me back' and the she seen p.s.s and this is what it said 'i cant wait to see you at school' and after she looked at it again tears ran down her checks once more but this time she just let them fall and she clicked reply and this is what she wrote'i dont need to say alot all i can say is i love you to and i always have your the man of the dreams and you make me so happy and you changed my life WAY more then you know' and she hit sent and with alot lift unsaid and she just didnt know how to tell him that he just saved her life by just saying three little words and giveing her a whole new outlook on life she no longer wanted to end her life she wanted to live and and see another day and see the man that she wants to spend the rest of her life with and tell him she loves him to his face and not through a email and look in his eyes and get lost in them and hold him and never let him go and lost in the thought of him she heard a knock on the front door and she realized her moms friend was here to take her to school so with a smile on her face she gribed her backpack and through it on her sholder and ran down stears and opene the door and what she saw was not her moms freind it was the guys mom and she had tears in her eyes and she didnt say anything she just looked at her and handed her a letter and this is what it said'im sorry im so so sorry but when i didnt get a email back i just knew i freaked you out and know that i know you dont love me to i cant go on so this is good bye and i cant say it enough i love you i love you so much and it hurt so bad to know you dont love me too that why i killed myself im sorry goodbye' and she just screamed and cried and fell to her knees and huged the letter and all she could say is'no no no no i do love you i love you so much' and 'i cant live without you' and as she cried on the floor his mom lift with the thought in her head that this girl is the reason for her sons death and as she got up slowly she walked to her room to read the email one last time before she went to be with him and seen that it was sent satrday and today was monday and she felt so bad beacuse she didnt reply sooner so it was her fault hes gone and theres no changeing that and she just didnt want to go on any more so once again all the pain and sorrow and misiry and now gult came rushing back and once again she walked to her closet and stood back on the chear and gribed the rope and put it over her head and around her neck and the very last thought she had was of the man she loved and the man she killed....

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woah..................................