Taylor *stream Of Thought*
Taylor I have had normal staff/client relationships go well ending in the two parties separating and never seeing each other ever again once they had ended their client/staff status. This process usually involved me moving on to a new treatment center with a new list of names and faces, that I decided to ignore until my new care provider came, and said hello to me at which point I would emotionally distance myself from them and place a bar between them and me that I could never reach. Such as shes a staff because went to college for maybe 2 years to work to become a responsible adult and I'm just a little preteen bag of defiance... So there was a clear boundary in that situation between the professional ''Care Taker/babysitter'' and the bag of angry shitty defiance that I had become through being a damaged goods type of kid that was never good enough to be considered 'OK' or bad enough to be considered 'trash'. So I got sent through the misfit recycling machine where they could hopefully erase what I had already learned about the world at such a young age, through years of be good and do what you're supposed to do training camps. They taught me that when you do the desired action, you get the desired result. That everyone is able to communicate through a series of non verbal hand signs and face gestures. That we are all equal and that there are no people who are better or worse than me in any way. These ideas might have been good in theory but they in no way prepared me for what life really is. These fallacies were easily broken when my mind first encountered the drug that was able to set it free from those mortal boundaries. The realm of the GODS could be achieved through nothing more than intense focus and discipline that is easily induced every time you pass the pipe. That the world around you is only what you make it to be - that you have the power to shape your own destiny if only you would stray from the path that is set before you to follow. The yellow brick road is the road to the beginning of the end, which leads you to another brick road that leads you down a slightly different path than the one before you decided to walk a road in the first place. When you find yourself lost in the storm of the inevitable say that you stood on the rooftops and shouted against the storm that was blowing everyone away. That your voice in the wind can make any sound at all proves your existence against the rushing roar of uncertainty. That everyone is their own slave to themselves. The key to release them from their slavery is inside of their minds where it gives them power to govern themselves. Set your mind free and hope it is not kept captive.
by Austin Lockwood