Tears Of Desperation

These tears cascade down upon this empty face
I try to stop them and put myself back in place
This expression hides the pain, it’s bottled up inside
I’ve lost all control, now I’m just on for the ride
I’m going down as this pain starts to seep
The secrets are screaming, and these cuts run deep
It’s all in my head, and shows in my eyes
Before this night is done, they will begin to cry
It hurts so badly, it tears at the heart
Running nowhere, I’m beginning to fall apart
Going down instead of up, the mind becomes dazed
I’m crying out loud, and my hands are raised
Can’t you hear me, sitting here crying all alone
Or is this silence louder than my moan
Seriously, I can’t think straight, I can’t concentrate
Losing my balance, I’m beginning to disintegrate
This stream of tears is now a pool of tears
And if you look in it, you can see all of my fears
She rips and tears at me, Father please forgive me
I’m just a disappointment please erase my memory
Losing the battle, I’ll probably lose the war
Just let me be and let me walk out of the door
It hurts her, but for me this is deadly
When I can leave, I will go hastily and readily
Maybe then the tears will stop, and it won’t be empty
I’ll put myself back together, but only if she lets me
Lord can you help me I need words of consolation
I spill this out to you in my prayer of desperation

by Jessica Helen Mortensen

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