My neighbour's wife had an affair
with our local judge,
it seems that they would often share
a bed at Happy Lodge.
Arriving in the dark of night,
and to avoid those dramas,
they'd wear their fur coats as one might
and underneath pyjamas.
And the concierge said 'Ev'ning, Judge',
although that wasn't wise,
and then she did her 'wink-and-nudge'
and laughed at their disguise.
The Porter opened quick the lift
and led them to their room.
And, standing close, she felt as if
she's standing near her groom.
My neighbour's wife was caught that night,
though she told many lies.
Her instinct tried to point her at
the Porter's smart disguise.
And now the moral of the story:
When they gave in to natural urge,
they should have known - now they are sorry:
To bribe Madame Concierge.
Illicit dreams some people get,
their lust demands relief.
So when you climb in stranger's bed
your pillow's name is grief.