Poem By Rachel Brewer
An angel came to me in the night, and asked me to dance.
The angel wanted to save me, save my soul.
The angel asked me if I would die tonight.
He said he could take away all of my pain.
The music played quietly in my ear, as we danced in the moonlight.
I asked him about heaven, he didn’t reply.
I asked him about hell, he didn’t reply.
Then the music stopped, all the music stopped.
Silence flooded my mind, darkness crept in.
I fell, a thousand miles down, down.
The angel took my breath away.
What filled my mind was so astounding, I couldn’t believe it.
I saw that there was no heaven, only hell.
The angel lied to me, he asked me if I wanted to dance, not if I was willing to fall.
I imagined all the people in the world, what they would feel like if they experienced this moment.
Nothing more than fear, there was no good here, no light.
The angel had dropped me, dropped me right into the depths of hell.
And I didn’t know why.
If a supposed angel of God, dropped you towards the devil.
What would you feel in the moment you were falling?
Would you think about the trees or the earth?
Or would you think about the people in your life that you didn’t say goodbye to?
Maybe you wouldn’t think about anything at all?
I know that all I thought was I wanted to go home, back into my warm, safe bed.
I wanted to wake up the next morning and see my mother and father.
I didn’t want to die. Not like this.
Especially when my demise came from the soft touch of a dancing angel.
If the angel was of God, I couldn’t believe it.
That God would send an angel to take me away.
Maybe the angel was working for the devil?
I don’t know what it was, but all I could think in my moment of falling was life.
I wanted to see another summer, another winter.
I would miss everyone so much.
Oh angel, let me go home. I want to go home.
The falling stopped. And I was in darkness. Pure darkness.
I felt a sense of relief though. As if I was glad not to have hit anything.
But still in my stomach was a feeling of disbelief.
Like I couldn’t believe that I was sent here by an angel.
Then all I could think about was my family. My mother and father, my grandparents, my little brother, and all I could feel was love.
The undeniable, unconditional love of my family that I knew would never change.
Whether I rose to the dance, or fell to the floor.
I knew I was strong with them, and I felt it all the time.
They made me more, you know, like I’m better because of them.
I could feel their strength flowing through me and I started to rise.
I was rising back through the darkness, up again.
I felt like I could reach the sky, the power of their love guiding me back.
Back to the safety and the light of my world.
The angel knew it was powerless, it couldn’t take me now.
I got my breath back and the angel was gone.
Love. This was the feeling that saved my life. I knew it was all I needed to live.
And I had destroyed the angel.
The angel of death.