The Big Issue Or The Porkers Lament
Poem By Lauren Walker
Measure love in weight & I've more than most to give
Measure fun in lbs & oz's - oh what a life I live!
Big & bubbly, larger than life
Homely & cuddly, the perfect wife?
Who started all this cliche'd crap?
Did they think we'd all laugh & clap
Big is beautiful, so they say
But I'm just me, whatever I weigh!
I've no desire to be stick thin
That must bring its own chagrin
But judge me for me, not my size
This bubbly girl still has a grumpy side!
Whilst the stereotypes really get my goat
I also know you could make a tent from my coat
I've heard them all, they're oh so funny
And yes, I know I'll never make a playboy bunny
So now enough with the cliches, and the jokes
Cos I think I just heard the oven timer go....